A Sad and Wonderful Garden Catastrophe

Today the rain came. I was so filled with joy to see drops of rain that actually made it from the rainclouds to the earth. We haven't had a real rain in weeks. I've wanted so much for my garden to experience what a natural watering feels like, and to see the plants stretch their leaves up into the sunshine the way they only do after a natural rainfall.

But then to my horror, the rain became hail. There was not a lot I could do as the hail got larger and larger and I watched my little ones being pelted to the ground. I called for help within my heart hoping that the subtle energies of nature would hear my cry.

Working in my garden has been a source of life and joy for me, and has become like a delicate work of art. It has been my passion and my work for several months. It has given me comfort and a sense of purpose as I faced a wild and beautiful void of quiet and empty after choosing to follow the call to move to Colorado and start a new chapter of my life. I have poured my love and energy and passion into every aspect of it. For countless hours I've disappeared into my books on organic gardening learning and learning everything I could, loving every minute of it, and waking each morning bursting with excitement to go out to see what has popped up, and what has flowered and what is ready to be harvested.

Today I felt so broken as my beautiful cooperative art piece was beaten down by the hail.

My heart was crushed when I went out to find that my spinach crop, that I was just about to harvest was torn to pieces, and my lettuce mix crop was bent and torn. My broccoli plants are laying down, and there are holes in the leaves of everything else.

I had to spend some time greiving what felt like the loss of something so dear to my heart. I cried and cried, knowing that there was nothing I could do to change what had happened.

It was one of those strange moments in life, where you just have to surrender to the moment, and know that despite the pain you feel, there is a perfect order to what is happening.

This is my first vegetable garden ever. I always dreamed of having a real, successful veggie garden and never even knew how wonderful it would be to care for a little piece of earth with all your heart. I went into this gardening journey knowing that I would need to have patience with myself and with nature as I learned. I knew the things that people say about Colorado soil, and all the things people say about what comes up when and what you have to do. I love to learn. I just love to feed that part of my human self that loves to explore the world of mental knowledge, with lots of tips and tricks and scientific facts about soil composition and solar goodness. But more than anything,

I love to create in my own reality. I love to abandon the facts and the naysayers and the "which plants will come up when, and in what soil temperature" and BREAK FREE.

I then delve into the fantastically intricate world that is my own inner being and into my deepest heart and find what I choose to be true in my experience. From my own intuitive place I allow myself to be guided to what needs to be planted where, and I listen to and respect those beings around me that are part of the delicate balance that is Life. I allow all doubts to dissolve and garden from my True Heart. It is from there that I really believe. It is from there that my garden has thus far thrived.

What a garden can teach a person is amazing.

I have learned so much about the simplicity of life. And also felt the thrill of the miracle that is Every Little Sprout that chooses to Pop Up in the name of Love. You plant it, and it grows.

And you don't ever once have to choose to struggle. Struggle is a choice. We really can just let go. And trust in the Process.

So I started writing all this because I was so filled with emotion and needed to process so much. And I see now my answer before me.

I asked to learn about working with nature. I asked to learn to be in harmony with every part of it. Resisting none of it. To flow with all of it.

And now it is time for me to use this experience of loss, to know that even this part of life is Sacred.

Today I tasted the sweetness of a leaf of spinach and with such gratitude to nature for working along with me and giving me a space on this earth to feel so very one with the energies of all. To express love in the deepest way I can, by taking time each day to care for it.

I think I will harvest what is left of my spinach and share it as much as I can with all who don't mind torn leaves. Perhaps I will plant another crop of spinach and start over again.

I new there was a blessing that awaited me.